Full Metal Panic: Shades of Gray
by Overhaul
Summary: Although grievously injured, Grace “Gray” Wiseman survived the battle in Helmajistan. In a bid to get away from her survivor's guilt, she requests a transfer from her unit, and winds up in Tokyo as backup for one Sagara Sousuke. Warning: Spoilers
1. Survival Instinct

**Author's Notes: **This fic is a gift for **"Sadistic Lunatic."** Fans of **"For the Want of a Nail,"** don't worry, it certainly hasn't been abandoned, but I promised that I'd get started on this one. Like my other fic, this is another "What if..." situation. It starts during episode 17 of Season 1, in the battle against Gauron in Helmajistan, but after a couple of chapters, skips ahead to Fumoffu. Although it starts off relatively dark and action oriented, it'll become more light hearted as it goes.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned FMP, there wuld have been a heartfelt Sousuke/Melissa scene, and episode 17 would have gone more like this chapter.

**Title: **Full Metal Panic: Shades of Grey

**Summary: **Although grievously injured, Grace "Gray" Wiseman survived the battle against Gauron in Helmajistan. In a bid to get away from her survivor's guilt, she requests a transfer from her unit, and winds up in Tokyo as backup for one Sagara Sousuke. Warning: Spoilers

**Pairing(s):** Sousuke/Grace. I know, I'm weird, but give it a try, you know you want to ;)

* * *

**Chapter 1: **Survival Instinct

"Batist! Jackson!"

Grace Wiseman stared in horror at the scene before her. She was too far away to do anything but watch as the last two of her comrades were brutally cut down. The only ones left now were her and Sousuke, and she had no idea where he even was. She assumed he was still fighting the support the opposition had pulled in from the rear, so now it was only her versus Gauron.

The dust cleared to reveal Gauron's AS, completely unscathed by Batist's self-destruct, and Grace was certain that this last fight was a foregone conclusion. She knew that her M9 stood no chance against that monster, which was slowly advancing towards her.

_'Sousuke, where are you?' _she thought furiously,_ 'You're the only one who can beat this guy.' _Even as thoughts of defeat filled her head, she raised her AS's weapon and began firing as fast as the mechanism would let her, only to despair as she saw that none of the shots had any effect whatsoever. The silver mech just kept advancing at it's own pace as the rounds simply glanced off the fuselage. _'He's toying with me!' _she realised, _'He doesn't consider me a threat, he hasn't even drawn his weapon.'_

As her adversary steadily drew nearer, she tossed aside her ineffective rifle and drew the M9's close-quarters blade. As soon as the enemy AS was in range, she swung with all her might at it's head section, only to have her AS's arm caught by Gauron's own.

She tried to pull away, but her AS was held in an iron grip and couldn't move away. As the blade fell from her captured hand into Gauron's, she realised what was going to happen. Unable to move her metal casing and with her adrenaline pumping wildly in her veins, her survival instincts kicked in as she flattened herself against the side of the cockpit.

It only half worked. As her cockpit was impaled by her own blade, she was able to get her torso out of the way, but her legs were caught in her safety harness, and she screamed in pain as the edge of the blade caught her right thigh, viciously tearing open a deep flesh wound. Her stomach jolted horribly as her damaged mech fell like puppet with it's strings cut, and hit the ground with a resounding crash.

Grace's head was slammed forward into the controls, and while her headset protected her from most of the damage, she was left with a cut on her face from the broken glass of the display monitors, just missing her left eye. As blackness crept into the corners of her vision, Grace spoke into the communicator, and all she could do was hope that Sousuke was in range.

"S-Sousuke..." her voice was broken, and she could only manage that single word, but over the hiss of static in her ears, she heard a reply, just as she passed out, and knew that it had worked.

"_Gray, I'll be right there."_

* * *

Sousuke was pushing the Arbalest as fast as it could go. He'd left Zaied for dead, his distinctive red AS lying face down in the river. He'd heard everything that had happened over the Arbalest's communications system, included Grace's scream and her final, whispered transmission. He knew that Gray, in spite of being a good pilot, would not be able to stand toe-to-toe against Gauron in his upgraded AS.

_'If I don't hurry, she's going to be killed,' _he thought, _'If it weren't for that last transmission, I'd say it's a lost cause already.'_

"Hang in there, Gray," he spoke quietly, but no reply was heard, and he didn't know if she was even conscious or alive to hear it.

He finally made it to where Mithril had made their stand against Gauron, and had to grit his teeth to stop himself from crying out in anger. The truck which had carried the nuclear warhead was upturned and there was an AS's blood-stained blade stuck through the windscreen. An M9 lay in several pieces not far from the truck, presumably the one which had self destructed. The nuclear warhead lay unscathed, but a second M9 was pinned to a rock above it with another short sword.

_'Gray...'_

"Gauron!" Sousuke yelled in a rage, "Where are you?"

A reply came over his communicator. _"You want this?" _Gauron taunted, _"Why don't you come and get it?"_

"You killed them," Sousuke growled dangerously, "I'll kill you!"

"_Sergeant Sagara?"_ He froze.

* * *

Grace's head was pounding. She could hardly see and blood was running down both her face and right leg. The pounding was only getting louder, and she realised that someone was yelling in her ear. _'The communicator,' _she thought through the mess her mind was in.

"_-killed them, I'll kill you!" _That was Sagara Sousuke's voice. As her vision became clearer she could see the hole in the cockpit, through which the white AS that could only be the Arbalest could be seen. It was stood before her, facing her.

"Sergeant Sagara?" she asked uncertainly, into the communicator, and she hated how weak her voice sounded. When the reply came, however, it didn't come from Sousuke.

"_Still alive?"_ Came a new voice which could only be Gauron.

_'Everyone else is dead,'_ the though echoed in her head leaving her feeling numb.

"_No matter, I'll finish you once I've dealt with Kashim here." _Grace saw the now hauntingly familiar AS appear on the rocky cliff behind and above the Arbalest. _"Well Kashim, let's see how it's done."_

"Sousuke, behind you!" Grace yelled. The Arbalest whirled round to face the cliff as the AS atop it jumped and began to descend through the air, it's hands glowing with charged power.

"_Al," _Grace heard Sousuke yell, seemingly addressing his mech, _"Activate Lambda Driver!"_

The result was the most spectacular thing Grace had ever seen. As the mechs collided, a massive explosion of light flooded the entire valley. Lightning arced from where the two war machines met as their pilots engaged in a fierce battle of wills, each trying with all their might to overpower the other.

Waves of energy began pouring off the two metal titans, and Grace found herself once again unable to maintain consciousness. "Good luck, Sousuke. Give him hell." Was all she could say before passing out.

* * *

In spite of the roar of the Lambda Driver that seemed to drown out everything, he heard Grace's message as clear as day. _'I can't lose now,' _he thought as he grit his teeth with the effort of maintaining use of the Driver. _'If I die, Gray dies. I can't let that happen, I won't let anyone else die today."_

With those thoughts running over and over in his mind, he gave one final push as an almost feral battle cry erupted from his throat. He could almost imagine the insane look of horror on Gauron's face as his AS was overtaken by the light and destroyed in the resulting explosion.

Sousuke ached all over and was completely spent, causing the Lambda Driver to immediately shut down. The Arbalest fell to it's knees, only able to move as much as its pilot could make it. As the dust cleared, Sousuke could only stare at the rear monitor in shock.

_'Damnit, not now,' _he cursed mentally, seeing Zaied's crimson AS behind him, gatling gun pointed directly at the Arbalest. _'I can't believe I've come this far, just to get attacked from behind yet again.'_

It looked like the machine was on its last legs, but it was perfectly steady as it aimed at the Arbalest's back at point blank range. Sousuke, to tired to be able to bring his AS to even move let alone fight back, simply closed his eye's and waited for the killing blow to come. _'Gray, I'm sorry.' _He waited in anticipation for the pain that was sure to come as he heard the sound of the gatling gun beginning to fire. He prepared himself to be ripped apart, but the pain never came. He could hear the shots, but nothing was happening. Cracking his eyes open, he chanced a glance at the rear monitor and was stunned at what he saw.

The AS had lost balance at the last second, firing it's weapon uselessly into the air. The barrels kept rotating even as the ammunition ran out, and Sousuke knew that Zaied was dead. It finally keeled completely over and fell to the ground, lifeless as its pilot.

Sousuke let out the breath he'd been holding. He simply sat there in the Arbalest, trying to regain his breath and strength, before he remembered with a jolt why he had been fighting so hard. _'Gray!'_

Summoning strength he didn't know he had, he forced the Arbalest into a standing position even as his aching limbs protested painfully. The damaged AS made its way sluggishly and clumsily towards Grace's. "I won't let you die,"he repeated out loud, over and over, step after agonising step.

"_S-Sousuke..." _It was weak incredibly weak, but it was there and that's what mattered.

_'She's still alive!' _The thought renewed him, and he quickened his pace, making it to Grace's side before he and the Arbalest gave out completely, the AS crashing to the ground, sending up dust all around him. Doing the only thing he could do, he changed the frequency on his communicator and prayed that someone was listening.

Someone was.

* * *

Captain Teletha Testarossa stared blankly at the strategic screen monitoring the situation in Helmajistan. There had been no update from anyone for over an hour now, and she was beginning to fear the worst. The rest of the commander's had given it up as a lost cause, but Tessa could not be pulled away from the screen. _'This is my fault,' _she thought demurely to herself, as her face slipped from its professional impassiveness to one of sadness. _'I could have stopped him somehow, I know it. Damn Mithril high command. They've sent him off to his death out there.'_

She was so caught up in her thoughts that it took her several moments to realise that the console in front of her was beeping, and she nearly jumped when she saw that they were receiving a transmission. She frantically began hitting buttons tying to connect, having to start over several times in her haste. After many agonising moments, she finally made the connection and nearly yelled into the console in excitement, "HQ receiving. Who am I speaking with and what's your status?"

There was a pause, and for a dreadful moment, Tessa thought that there had simply been a malfunction, but she nearly jumped for joy when she heard the voice at the other end. _"This is Uruz 7 reporting," _came the voice of Sagara Sousuke,_ "All known hostiles have been neutralised. Casualty report: four dead, two wounded but stable. Requesting immediate transport for one AS, two passengers and cargo of one nuclear warhead."_

"Granted," Tessa replied immediately, "We are receiving your coordinates, stand by for pick-up. Estimated time of arrival, two hours, thirty minutes." She was soon giving out orders to nearly everyone in sight, trying to get the transport ready as soon as humanly possible.

_'I won't let you down this time, Sagara-san. Don't you die on me now. Please, stay alive out there.'_

_

* * *

_

Two hours and twenty six minutes later, Sagara Sousuke looked up at the sky from next to the Arbalest and Grace's ruined M9. He could see the Mithril helicopters silhouetted against the perfectly clear sky, then turned to Grace, whom he had eventually managed to extract from her AS. She was still unconscious, and was lying beside him in the recovery position.

As he returned his attention to the silhouettes in the sky, the barest hint of a smile played across his face. _'We did it.' _was his last thought, before he let the events of the day catch up to him and he collapsed on the dusty valley floor in a dead faint.

**

* * *

**

**AN: **Well, here's the start of my second fic. I'll try to spread my updates evenly between the two stories. (My other is in the Code Geass category.) I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Please leave a review if you did.


	2. Survivor's Guilt

**Author's Notes: **I am so sorry this has taken so long to get out, but school work has been a nightmare. Still, I'll try to get some work on both my fics done in the next couple of weeks, before term starts again.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMP

* * *

**Chapter 2: **Survivor's Guilt

The first thing Grace saw when she opened her eyes was white. With only one unfocussed eye open, the world around her was blurred. She tried to sit, up, but she found herself held in place. This instantly set off alarm bells in her head, and she tried to struggle, but in blind panic only managed to entangle herself further into the...

_'Sheets?' _she thought, as she was slowly able to regain the focus in her right eye, but she couldn't open her left even a little, and it appeared to be covered up. Taking stock of her surroundings, she let out a breath of relief as she recognised the infirmary of her unit's base.

"I made it," she muttered out loud. This small amount of satisfaction was quickly squashed as she realised the price of her survival. Out of the six that had been sent into the desert, only two had survived. Her entire team was dead, and she felt the involuntary prickle in her eyes of tears as each of their last moments played in slow motion through her head, decimated by a superior force without a hope of survival.

_'But I survived.' _The thought echoed in her head. _'Sousuke, he saved me, but why not the others? Why did he let them die?' _She shook her head violently. She was being irrational. Being no stranger to war, she knew what it was like to lose comrades, and Sousuke had tried his hardest just to get her to safety.

She was cut out of her thoughts as the door to the infirmary opened, and a man holding a clipboard, entered. He looked at her with a look of mild surprise as he saw that she was awake, before chuckling slightly at her tangled state.

"I must say Miss Wiseman," he said, slowly regaining an air of seriousness, "you're made of tougher stuff than most of the patients I've had to treat. Anyone could tell you you're lucky to be alive, but you seem to be pulling through incredibly."

"If I am, it's thanks to Sergeant Sagara," Grace replied, as nonchalantly as she could while still tangled in the bedsheets, "If it weren't for him I'd still be bleeding out in the desert."

"Sergeant Sagara?" the doctor asked curiously, before a look of comprehension dawned on his face. "You mean the one from the Denaan? Yes, I've read the reports. If you ask me, he's wasted on that stuck up lot."

"Yeah, he's not bad," Grace muttered absently, "I guess I owe someone a 'thank you.,' wouldn't you say?"

"I guess so," the doctor mused, "but it's a little academic. He's probably already back on that sub already, and I don't envy the poor person who tries to battle through the paperwork you'd need to disclose it's location. They like their secrets."

"Still," Grace persisted, "I'll keep it in mind, if I ever do run into him again."

"You do that," the doctor agreed, "just don't get hung up on it. Good men like him Have a habit of getting themselves killed doing something stupidly heroic."

"Not really. If there's one thing you can count on, it's his will to survive, and see his friends do the same."

"If you say so," the doctor conceded, "I'll check up on you later. I reckon you could use the rest."

Despite his words, Grace sat up for a good many hours afterwards, her thoughts straying to the strange boy who had saved her life.

* * *

Sousuke never thought he'd be so glad to see his apartment. To him, it was just a place he stayed when he wasn't at school or on some near impossible mission. It held no emotional or sentimental value to him whatsoever, but at that moment it was the most welcome sight he'd seen in a long time. After everything that had happened, he wanted nothing more than to crash on the couch and just relax, so that's exactly what he did. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he felt truly _tired._

_'That mission,' _he thought, _'took much more out of me than usual.' _He could remember the entire ordeal in vivid detail, and his muscles still ached from the exertion he had put them through towards the end. _'Still,' _he mused, _'it was worth it.' _Scowling, he idly wondered when he became such an idealist. Zaied and the rest of his old guerilla allies would have been ashamed.

He was broken out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. Despite just wanting to rest, he dragged himself to his feet, drawing his standard pistol as a safety precaution. Walking wearily to the door, he checked through the peep-hole before opening the door to three familiar faces. In his doorway stood Chidori Kaname, Kurz Weber and Melissa Mao.

Eyeing his two fellow soldiers carefully, Sousuke quickly asked, "What are you both doing here? Shouldn't someone be keeping watch?"

To his surprise, it was Kaname who answered. "Honestly Sousuke, you've just come back from a mission. Can't you just lighten up once in a while?"

Sousuke quickly fell into his military routine, feeling more at ease when discussing such things. "Apologies, but my priority is your protection. I merely considered it would be more vigilant to have at least one person keeping watch outside."

Kurz and Melissa shared a significant look, both worried about how their friend was, even now, so focussed on the mission, rather than his own enjoyment and wellbeing. "So..." Melissa let the word hang for a moment before getting fed up of waiting, "Are you going to invite us in or am I going to have to kick you out of the way?"

Sousuke paled slightly as he saw the glint in his superior's eyes, and quickly stepped aside and snapped to attention. "Yes ma'am!" he intoned in his best military voice.

"Sousuke," Melissa deadpanned, "cut the crap, we're off duty."

"Yes ma-" Sousuke caught himself just in time, relaxing his stance slightly. "Yes, Mao-san."

"Wow," Kurz exclaimed, "you got him to lighten up on your first try, nee-san. Something's definitely bothering him if he gives up that easily. So, Sousuke," he continued conversationally, dragging his friend onto the couch next to him, "how did the mission go? Those guys you were working with not too hard on you?"

Sousuke frowned, if only slightly. "I've emailed a copy of the report to Mao-san, I thought she would have shown you by now."

"Sousuke," Melissa said warningly, grabbing Sousuke's desk chair and seating herself opposite from him, "didn't I tell you to cut the crap already? He's talking about how you're faring. Now are you going to tell us or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"

Everyone was silent. Sousuke and Melissa staring defiantly at each other, while Kaname looked concerned and Kurz just looked resigned. After what seemed like an age, Melissa finally broke the silence. "Sousuke," she said carefully, her angry mask falling to reveal genuine concern, "I've told you before, keeping this bottled up isn't good for you."

Sousuke exhaled slightly, but didn't reply. Surprisingly, it was Kurz who noticed the clenching of Sousuke's fists and twitching of his brow, and he knew that, in his own way, Sousuke was mad. "Nee-san," he said nervously, "don't you think we should leave it? It's late, and I don't know about you, but I could do with a rest, and I think Sousuke could do with it as well, whether he admits it or not."

Melissa quickly picked up on the danger signs and decided to drop it. "Yeah, you're right," she sighed, "Sousuke..." a pause, "you really are a hard-headed, stubborn arsehole, you know that?" She looked as Kurz raised his eyebrows. "What?" she defended herself, "Someone had to say it." And without a further word, she left.

Kaname was the next to take her leave. "Sousuke," she was unsure, new to the situation, "you'll be okay?" She looked truly concerned, and Sousuke thought this was unusually compassionate of the usually callous and violent girl. He nodded to her, even managing a weak smile. Of course, a smile coming from Sagara Sousuke was invariably close to undetectable, but kaname caught it and smiled in return before leaving.

Last to leave was Kurz. He patted an unresponsive Sousuke on the shoulder before getting up to leave. "Don't be a stranger," he grinned, "you know nee-san, she means well, but she's too hot headed to admit she cares. You'll see, it'll take more than you being stubborn as you are to drive her away."

"Agreed," Sousuke said tiredly. "Weber-san, your actions earlier are much appreciated."

"No problem," Kurz assured him, "I'll see you around." He quickly followed Kaname and Melissa, finding them waiting outside."

* * *

Kaname only half listened as Kurz and Melissa discussed what was wrong with Sousuke. It was only just then, seeing the interaction between the three, that she realised she had no idea just what it was that being Sagara Sousuke really entailed. She had always known that he was nothing short of obsessed when it came to his life in the military, but this was the first time she'd seen first hand how it really affected him.

It was weird. At school she was practically considered the authority on all things Sagara Sousuke, being pretty much the only person who, at least appeared to understand him. But here, she felt out of her depth. She didn't even know what Sousuke had been doing on his mission, or what report they'd been talking about. She decided she'd speak to Melissa if she ever got the chance, and see what she could find out.

Sousuke was a tough nut to crack, but Kaname was always up for a challenge.

* * *

**AN: **Well, there you have it. Really, I can't apologise enough for how long this has taken, and still not much has really happened. I really just wanted to capture the group dynamic between Sousuke, Melissa and Kurz, as I think they make a great trio. It come into play later in the story. Don't be surprised if you see hints of Sousuke/Melissa, as I love the interaction between them and that'll probably come up in my writing, but the main pairing is still firmly set as Sousuke/Gray. 


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